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Each year, November 11 has become an unofficial holiday[96] known as China's Singles' Day when singles are encouraged to make an extra effort to find a partner.[97] Worried parents of unmarried children often arrange dates for their offspring on this day as well as others.[97] Before the day approaches, thousands of college students and young workers post messages describing their plans for this day. In Arabic numerals, the day looks like "1111", that is, "like four single people standing together", and there was speculation that it originated in the late 1990s when college students celebrated being single with "a little self-mockery"[96] but a differing explanation dates it back to events in the Roman Empire.
In the cities at least, it is becoming more accepted for two people to meet and try to find if there is compatibility.[103]
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By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down.
The majority of Indian marriages are arranged by parents and relatives, and one estimate is that 7 of every 10 marriages are arranged.[104] Sometimes the bride and groom don't meet until the wedding, and there is no courtship or wooing before the joining.[72] In the past, it meant that couples were chosen from the same caste and religion and economic status.[105] There is widespread support for arranged marriages generally. Writer Lavina Melwani described a happy marriage which had been arranged by the bride's father, and noted that during the engagement, the woman was allowed to go out with him before they were married on only one occasion; the couple married and found happiness.[106] Supporters of arranged marriage suggest that there is a risk of having the marriage fall apart whether it was arranged by relatives or by the couple themselves, and that what's important is not how the marriage came to be but what the couple does after being married.[106] Parents and relatives exert considerable influence, sometimes posting matrimonial ads in newspapers and online.[105] Customs encourage families to put people together, and discourage sexual experimentation as well as so-called serial courtship in which a prospective bride or groom dates but continually rejects possible partners, since the interests of the family are seen as more important than the romantic needs of the people marrying.
"[192] In China, older men with younger women are more likely to be described as "weird uncles" rather than "silver foxes."[192] One Beijing professor reportedly advised his male students to delay dating:
Generally, during much of recorded history of humans in civilization, and into the Middle Ages in Europe, weddings were seen as business arrangements between families, while romance was something that happened outside of marriage discreetly, such as covert meetings.
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[93] Advantages of speed dating: efficiency; "avoids an embarrassing disaster date"; cost-effective; way to make friends.[93] Disadvantages: it can turn into a beauty contest with only a few good-looking participants getting most offers, while less attractive peers received few or no offers; critics suggest that the format prevents factors such as personality and intelligence from emerging, particularly in large groups with extra-brief meeting times.[166]
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[67] (It is usually the female who is the victim, but there have been cases where males have been hurt as well.) Sara McCorquodale suggests that women meeting strangers on dates meet initially in busy public places, share details of upcoming dates with friends or family so they know where they'll be and who they'll be with, avoid revealing one's surname or address, and conduct searches on them on the Internet prior быстрый заработок to the date.[68] One advisor suggested: Don't leave drinks unattended; have an exit plan if things go badly; and ask a friend to call you on your cell phone an hour into the date to ask how it's going.[68] Technology[edit]
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Research from Berkeley University in California suggests there's a dropoff in interest after online daters meet face-to-face.[23] It's a lean medium not offering standard cues such as tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions.[23] There is substantial data about online dating habits; for example, researchers believe that "the likelihood of a reply to a message sent by one online dater to another drops roughly 0.